Sometimes, living in Tasmania feels like getting cropped out of a photo. We’re that friend who is perpetually never ready for the flash. We’re the state Sunrise forgets when discussing economics and the rise and fall of house prices. Just a heads up, Kochie – you can buy a house for under $150k in Australia. Sure, it’s shit, but it’s a house and it’s in Australia. Sort of.
Despite being the last kid picked for the sports team, tourists are en route to Tassie in droves right now, as the whole of Hobart is transforming into a literal red light district for the MoFo of all festivals that kicks off this week.
We see your Earthcore, Victoria and raise / out-weird you our Dark Mofo. Basically, it’s like Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet throws up all over Princes Wharf 1, add in a bunch of epic eats and booze, light shit on fire and dance around it while exploring links between ancient and contemporary mythology and Solstice rituals from many winters ago.
I’m not doing the best job of selling it here, so Hobart’s resident Dark MoFo expert Simon is going to take the reins after everything has commenced and do a full run-down on the weird, wonderful and wacky goings on throughout the festival with much wit, hilarity and heinous hangovers, as he has bought tickets to just about every event, and I only have tickets to the free things. He even has the balls to do the Nude Solstice Swim at the end of the festival. And I know he does, we all saw them in high definition on WIN News when he stripped off for it last year.
I asked him to give me a little spiel on how his experience and love of the festival makes him the perfect unofficial spokesperson, and he said, “Can I do it when I get home? I’m eating noodles at the laundromat.”
Not wanting to come between a man and his noods, I said sure, but, now that he’s home, I’ll let his self-marketing skills shine:
“Despite my best attempts to get on the MONA payroll, once again I take up my role as official unofficial Dark Mofo ambassador. 2017 promises to be as big, as dark, as fun, and as naked as every other year; this year however, I’ll be sharing the craziness with you, dear reader, on Kate’s blog. So join me as I share the experience of the best time of the year to be in Hobart – and help me justify what will be an accumulated credit card debt that’s sure to rival the GDP of a small nation. Perhaps, if I do well, David Walsh will bail me out…”
I have friends visiting over the coming weeks because as our Lord Mayor old mate Hickey says, “Dark MoFo has reached “unmissable” status for visitors and locals alike, with people returning year after year for a mid-winter experience that is unlike anything else in the country.” Two of the visiting friends have experienced Dark MoFo before – last time, we planted ourselves outside the stall serving Hot Toddys and drank until thermal clothing was no longer necessary. Speaking of, anyone know how we got home that night?
So, dress warm, strap in and strip off, and hopefully we will catch many of you along the short walk from Dark Park to the Winter Feast, stopping to sip a hot gin in our Tassie Tuxedos. Over to you, Simon. Send noods.
Written by Kate Fox
About Kate: After over a decade trudging the corridors of magazine publishing companies in very high heels as a writer, sub-editor and editor, Kate relocated from Sydney to Hobart with dreams of reading books, drinking wine and chilling out in ballet flats. When that didn’t quite work out financially, she started working as a producer of local television commercials, and with the short eight-minute commute, realised she had enough time in her day to write a Tasmanian-inspired blog about how much her little island home saved her from the rat race.
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